The Social Media Takeaway - Louise McDonnell

Mindset Shifts: Uncover the Lies Holding You Back

• Louise McDonnell • Season 1 • Episode 27

Share episode

In this week's episode of The Social Media Takeaway, I am delighted to speak with Donna Kennedy, a seven-time best-selling author, psychologist, mentor, and highly sought-after professional speaker. Donna shares profound insights from her personal journey, demonstrating incredible strength and resilience forged through overcoming significant early life challenges.  She discusses how these experiences have shaped her approach to personal development and her professional practice. In this episode, we delve into how mindset influences business decisions, explaining how a growth mindset helps overcome fears that hinder personal and business growth.

More about Donna: 

Website
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn

Remember to grab your own copy of Donna’s book here! 

CLICK HERE

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to my podcast because more like this is on the way!

If you'd like to book a call to see how I can support you head over to my website here. www.sellonsocialmedia.academy/hello

And please connect on social media and let me know what you thought of this episode!

LinkedIn
Instagram
Facebook
Facebook Group

Check out my 2024 Social Media Content Planner & Guide on Amazon (Amazon UK) (Amazon USA)

Louise McDonnell:

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the social media takeaway. I'm your host, Louise McDonnell. And this is the show for coaches and consultants who want to know how to use social media as an effective sales tool. Be sure you subscribe if you enjoy what you're going to hear all about today in the show, which I know you will. And if you know of anyone who you think would benefit from the advice that's going to come from today's show, please be sure to tell them about the show and share it with them. If you enjoy what you're hearing, come and find me on social media and find my guest Donna and make sure you tag us and let us know what you think. Today I'm delighted to welcome my guest Donna Kennedy Slattery. She is a seven times best selling author. She's a psychologist mentor and highly sought after professional speaker and she regularly features in the media in as an expert in personal development. Thank you so much for coming on the show today, Donna.

Donna Kennedy:

Thank you for having me, Louise. I'm delighted to be here.

Louise McDonnell:

Excellent. So do you maybe want to start by telling us a little bit about your journey?

Donna Kennedy:

Yeah.

Louise McDonnell:

Um,

Donna Kennedy:

Most people know me as a speaker and event host. I'm an author, obviously, as you said, and I mentor people. That's where I am now. And I love doing businesses and that kind of thing as well. Where I was, I suppose, was a very, Difficult road especially when I was younger, the last 20 years of my life have been an awful lot easier than the first 20. many people, if they Google me, or maybe if they're following me already would know that I had a difficult childhood. So, you know, I was brought up in a great family. And however, when I was seven, I was sexually assaulted and that really went into an absolute snowball effect of disaster. And so I dealt with that in my own way and without the tools that, you know, you're not given when you're a kid. And I became anorexic very badly. And later on, I had a car accident and developed epilepsy as well. So I had a mixed bag of challenges growing up. But thankfully, I've used those as a very large stepping stone for doing what I'm doing now. And thankfully, I'm glad to say I'm very happy and successful in my own words today. And it took a lot to get through all of that. And I know when I, when I say it, it sounds like a very nutshell version and I'm not minimizing it by any means or being flippant. I just, now my story doesn't own me where once I was in my story.

Louise McDonnell:

Yeah. But I think your story is also very important for what you do now, because not very many people will live through the experience that you've lived through. And I've heard your story. So, so I know the backstory. And I think that it showed incredible strength and I think that, you know, you teach people about mindset and confidence and you're uniquely qualified because, you know, you have lived, you've lived that story, you know, so I know, you know, You don't talk about it as much. I noticed that when I was doing my research on you, but I think actually it's a really important part of what you do because like you demonstrated how far you've come, like you came from the brink of, you know, you share that in your story, you know, you heard the ticking clock and you knew that. It was near time to decide what you wanted to do, and I think that's really important.

Donna Kennedy:

Yes it is very, very important. I suppose it depends on where someone's at as well, whoever I'm saying it to. So, you know, I mean, for example, in certain seminars, I don't go into the full details of it in other seminars, I will. And it really, my, my whole thing is I guess it's adding value to who's in front of me. It's really important, I think, especially when people are, you know, trying to get ahead and trying to focus is to acknowledge the story for what it is and in its entirety, respect it. And yes, I did have very difficult circumstances. And honestly, there were times where it would have been easier to go than to stay. And that's the truth. I really did have to grab it from the ground a couple of times. So, you know, It was difficult, very difficult, but I've learned and through changing my mindset, through building my mindset, through having developed techniques I've learned very, very much how to stand In my own power, but to do it long term, not just a quick fix. I'm okay for three weeks and I'm back to square one. And that took time to learn. Were you saying uniquely qualified? I would say I have a QBE, which is Qualified by Experience. It's the most impressive letter. You can put that to your name. And you're always wondering, what's a QBE? Well, there you go. That's what it is. You know, you learn a lot from experience that you can't in a book. I'm qualified in psychology and some people, you know, are delighted by that, but for me, I went to college to learn what I could, not necessarily just to get the letters or to be qualified as such. I think qualifications are great to a point. There are guidelines for people who don't know you to have that maybe mechanism of trust. But when it comes to the crunch, can you do the job or not? Really? And I have worked with so many people that have been to so many psychologists and have been to so many different type of therapist. You know, whether that be in one to one or in groups, and they haven't got the results, they've got a result, not their results. And it's. Probably because lack of tools and techniques. And for me personally, I think it's important to have a huge toolbox and I'll continue to add to that for my entire life so that no matter who I meet, I would have a, should have a good tool to pull out. And if I don't, I can refer on, but for the most part, I generally have ways and things that I can deal with. And also when you've been in a situation and you know, disaster, and then, you know, the total opposite of it, you can kind of understand every little bit in between. Really, I mean, I've heard what other people consider crazy things from others, and nothing fazes me. It really doesn't, because I've seen it all and it humbles you, and you don't, I think authenticity is a huge thing. Aspect of it. And even, you know, doing podcasts, I will always have people say to me, you know, is there anything you don't want me to ask you? Well there's, there's an appreciation of that for sure. And a very professional aspect of it. But I think authenticity is probably the most helpful thing for people because it gives people permission to be authentic. And a lot of people in my industry, you know, when you stand on stage or when you're in a book or you have the glossy stuff, It can create a separation, I think, where it doesn't need to be, at the end of the day, everybody's human. And people need to have permission not to be fake, and they have permission to be authentic. And if that authenticity happens to be a bad backstory, well, you know, so be it.

Louise McDonnell:

Yeah. I think it's so important and I think you know, as we progress into an AI kind of world, like authenticity is, is going to be the key. I think, you know, as humans has how we stand apart from other people. so you're, you're a coach and a mentor. So you help people with mindset. how would somebody know, like, do people know if they have a limiting mindset or how would it show up in their lives?

Donna Kennedy:

It shows up in their lives. If they don't have the results that they want currently, they can say Why? Because I guarantee you that if they don't have the results they want, somebody else does. So it's doable 'cause nobody's better than them. it's maybe just you have to learn a scale or to learn whatever, but if you haven't got the results that you want, there's something missing in there that needs to be assessed and looked at. If somebody isn't feeling. wonderful for the majority of the time. I mean, nobody's going to feel 100%, 100 percent of the time. That's not really realistic, but if you're feeling good, the majority of the time, that's great, but if you're not, or you have moments of, you know a lot of self doubt and posture syndrome, all that kind of stuff, but that needs to be addressed. People generally know that you know, how you feel yourself and that's why. a lot of people are asked, well, how do you feel? And let me, and they ask you again, how do you feel? And how does that make you feel? And how does that make you feel? You know how you feel. It physically fits in your body. It's what people find difficulties is where they want to get to. And they don't know the how. And then the expectations they have from other people, they're worried about other people, they maybe don't have standards or boundaries put in place, they're worried about how people react if they, you know, progress to certain levels or if they don't. There's loads of different influences people are influenced by, other than their own mindset. And that for me, honestly, I can read it. 30 seconds. You just need to talk to people, you know, by the body language, you know, by, you know, their tone, you know, by what they say and what's missing. And there's a lot to be said in the gap of silence. And it's what's not said sometimes is where the answers are.

Louise McDonnell:

So for let's say anyone who's a coach or consultant, how might a limiting belief, how do you think, like how would you define it as, as having an impact on, you know, their company on developing their company?

Donna Kennedy:

Well, scaling is for a start, if they want to scale it maybe niching it, if they want to niche it and they're not, maybe they're afraid, God, if I do that, no one will come near me. Also if they're limiting themselves and they don't have the level of business that they want, to ask themselves, not necessarily why don't they have it, because they come up with a million and one excuses for that. But as if they do, if they did have that goal, so whatever their goal is, let's just call it, you know, point B. Point A is your starting point to ask yourself, you know, why am I not at point B will ask yourself a better question, which is if I was at point B, what would that mean? And then you fill in the blank after that. Would it mean if I had a very successful business? Well, it might mean that my friends will say this, might be my parents do this, my brothers and sisters might do this, might mean that I have a huge business, I might not be able to control it, you know, I'm worried about failing, worried about hurt, whatever. There's always, that's the thing that people are running away from. So I think why is a good question only when you're pairing it off with why do I want to do this and then tap into your values. But if somebody is not at the level that they want to be at and if they don't believe that they can get there, it might be a question of looking at what would that mean if I did achieve it as opposed to why am I not there yet.

Louise McDonnell:

I get you now. Yeah. I also come across I would come across people who they, I don't think they believe in enough in themselves and that they're not pricing enough. They're not charging enough for what they do. And that's holding them back, you know? So you're like, if you're not charging enough, you can't, you're not, first of all, you're not going to be visible to the people that you want to reach. And you're not going to have money to invest in your company because you just don't have the funds there. So that would be, I don't come across what you do, but that, that would be something that I would see all the time for

Donna Kennedy:

a hundred percent.

Louise McDonnell:

Yeah.

Donna Kennedy:

Yeah. And value is you know, people even here, if they hear the word charge, they're, Oh God, you know, can't charge people that, but charge, all charge means it's an energy and it's how much you elevate somebody or something. And value, I always look at value as an exchange of time. Yeah. I mean, look, while you're here talking to me, you're essentially trading your time for me with your children, for example. And that should be valued. So of course I will help you. And I think if people realize that the value you're giving, you're actually trading your time every minute. So if you're giving, for example, 15 minutes, half an hour, an hour a day, whatever it is to somebody, it's a fair exchange. You're giving up your lifetime for them. They need to put a monetary value on that. I mean, there is no monetary value really high enough, but at least, you know, I mean, place value on it that you feel actually, yes, this is fair. And then it's up to you morally to make sure that you deliver on what you promise you're going to deliver on. And then everybody wins. So it's a, it's really, you're not looking for cash as such in that sense. Yes, you will be paid, but I would always replace the word been charged or cash or anything that frightens people to really it's value. You know, and if you can give enough value, people will refer you. So that takes half your sales streams to chase away. You know, people will essentially become your sales people because you're constantly focused on value. Not am I charging enough or am I charging too much? You know, and of course there's the reality of there is a price point that people can, can afford. Then you need to look at, okay, well, who's my market? If you want to help people, say, for example, if I want to help people who can only afford 10 euro, If I can only help, people who can only afford say, 10 Euro a week, that's not my market because I wouldn't feel value. However, there are people there for that market, or I have a product that may suit that market. Market, like, you know, a member club or whatever like that, you know? Really, what you need to do is identify, like, who is it that you want to serve most? Who is it that you want to give value to? And if people can't see your values, then you're not a good client. Yeah, very true. You know, and you're going to be working and trading your time forever.

Louise McDonnell:

Something that occurred to me when I was thinking about having this chat with you today is, do you see, like, different issues with mindset within different cultures or different countries?

Donna Kennedy:

Yes. Yes. With any culture, the number one thing for all human beings across cultures is. to be included and to connect to human beings. From day dot, the way we have survived as human species is that we're not rejected, that we're included. If, you know, even an animal kingdom, if an animal is rejected, they die. And we innately know that. So our number one thing is this. Don't be rejected, feel good enough, and make sure we're connected to the people around us. Because if we're not, we're going to die, or we're not going to do well. Ultimately, that's the number one fear. People will do everything to avoid judgment, do everything to avoid rejection, whether that is going on a stage, or in a relationship, or friendship, or whatever. So across cultures, it really depends on how that connection and inclusion aspect is framed for somebody, from when they're born right the way up. So, for example, you could grow up in a culture that's very liberal. Then, you know, you're going to have a more liberal view to various different things. If you grow up in a culture that's very strict, for example, on women, you will naturally have the mindset of maybe subservience or have to, you know be submissive to males, for example. If you grow up in a very religious household, you know, maybe a cult like household or very strong religious household that isn't just spiritual you might grow up feeling very controlled. And that can cause all sorts of problems if it doesn't align with your values or it doesn't align with who you are. So that will affect mindset for sure. Like your, your environment, essentially, I call it environmental programming. Your environment is like a framework around your picture. The picture, you're the picture and your environment is the frame. And sometimes that frame doesn't fit the picture. Sometimes it squashes it. So really, you need to decide, you know, what it is that you want in your environment, and how do you want to be, how do you want to express yourself you know, what matters to you most, what you believe in, and then find people who match that, and you'll shine a lot better, you know, your mindset will feel a lot freer, and you won't feel that you're doing something wrong or against, because you're not around people who are giving you limited beliefs. And I always say, you know, within the word belief is the word lie. And sometimes it's no harm to remind yourself of that. That just because somebody tells you something, it doesn't mean to say that it's true. But because of the things that people take on, that other people tell them, they do believe certain things that are true. Even down from when we were conditioned from kids to do that, you know, I mean, you were probably told that Santa Claus exists or the tooth fairy. And there was nothing more exciting than that happening. With the best intention, you were told that, which is fine, but you believed it, almost like you do when you're asleep at night, you believe your dreams are real. So, sometimes, when people hand over beliefs to you or, or put them upon you or just pass them on, it's not necessarily always useful. But when you're told it as a kid, you believe it as easy as you do the tooth fairy. And the reason for that is you trust that the older people around you are trustworthy. You just do. You know, any kid you meet, if you tell them they're going to be a superhero, they're going to be a superhero, which is a great thing for the positive side. But if you tell a child or, you know, that child then goes into a teenager, that teenager goes into an adult. If nobody steps in and actually says, let's have a look at your mindset here. Let's have a look at your beliefs and see actually, are they helping you or are they, you know, not serving you? Rarely do people get that unless they meet a problem and unless they're forced to face it and need to get help. So probably most coaches. Have been coached themselves, or they know someone who has been coached. So it generally, they probably have a bit of an understanding of what that is, is that maybe to have beliefs placed upon them that weren't true and such like that. But, you know, I think everybody should have, especially in earlier years, should have a system whereby they don't, they're not suppressed as much by their culture. But that's, I don't see that ever happening, because there's always the, you know, it's a culture that always wants. There's always power struggles and there's always, you know, what can I get and what can you get? And there's always that. So I don't think it's like, it's realistic to expect that to change anytime soon. But what you can do is change your own mindset within the culture that you're in and pick and choose who you surround yourself with and what you expose your brain to. Because regardless, your brain will chemically respond to whatever is around you, whether that's outside of your head Or inside of your head. So it's your job really, in order to live fully, your job is to monitor that. You know, who are you around, whether you're in a culture as in an overall, or for example, where, you know, I mean, you might be in Ireland, you're in Spain, you're in America, whatever, you're born into a country. That doesn't mean to say you are part of that belief system. You don't have to be to understand and decide what you want for yourself.

Louise McDonnell:

Okay, brilliant. And so if there's somebody listening in here today who decide, you know, who has just realized, yeah, maybe I need to do something about my mindset. Maybe I need to do something to help me improve my mindset. What are the basic steps they should follow apart from going out and buying all your books, Donna? What are the basic steps they should follow? Come and work with me. Ring Donna. Perfect.

Donna Kennedy:

Perfect. And. So, the first thing is, I think, to stop comparing, that's number one, and that goes across all, across the board, is to stop comparing, and I know it's easier said than done, but it's to really look at what is it that you believe, what is it that you've been told I mean there's many aspects. When I work with people I don't just work on the mindset as most people would and tell yourself your lovely times of day and you know give your high fives and say I can do it. That's fine as a tiny part of the puzzle because you know that's not realistic. I mean we have physical bodies that respond to us in different ways. You know, we have chemicals going on in our bodies, we have hormones that go on in our bodies. So, for somebody who wants to change their mindset, it's very useful to look at it with a holistic approach. You know, if somebody's not feeling top of their game, or as I would say, you know, they're not vibrating at a high frequency, you have to look at, you know, A, what allows someone to vibrate at a high frequency? If someone finds they're depressed, they're anxious, they're stressed, they're not vibrating at a high frequency. And that can sometimes be, for example, in some women's cases, it can be hormonal. And it's a matter of maybe, you know, having, looking at their nutrition, looking at their lifestyle. There are things that a lot of people in my industry take for granted, or for children, for example, even adults. You know, somebody has a very high sugar content diet. Their mood might be yo yo, and that's why, not necessarily they're a neurotic person. Even things down, I know I get slated now probably for saying this, but you know, ADHD, there's so many kids now diagnosed with ADHD. And yes, when someone goes into a doctor, they have probably 15 minutes if you're looking for consultation. So, with the best system in the world, you cannot look at somebody's life as an overhaul, 15 minutes. But you might find that those same children, you know, there's a lot of them eating certain additives, like 2, 3, that are toxic when it comes to attention span. You might find that, you know, their omega 3 isn't high enough, their B vitamins might be off, their magnesium might be off, like they're all different things that you can look at that can improve mindset. But this is why I think it's so important that if the coach is listening, you should study in lots of different disciplines, not just the traditional. Belief systems and feeling happy or de traumatizing. You should look at lots of different things and remember that we have a body and mind and soul and have a look at what it is to help all of those to function at their best. So if you meet somebody and you can see a gap there that, you know, there's, every single person will present a set of, for want of a better phrase, symptoms. Whether that be lack of self belief or confidence, or whether it be just something chaotic Someone would present with a set of symptoms. And you might meet them in the street, you might meet them in an office, wherever. And it's, it's your role to be able to recognize those symptoms could be coming from more than one source. And not just to assume that, well, they're upset. Or in some cases, that may be the case. But it's your moral role, I think, as a coach, because it's not just, I mean, everyone can call themselves a life coach. So, you know, you have to look at your, your moral obligation. You're not just your type or qualification, as we said at the beginning, and it's how can you help people, your client the most, and it's your obligation to learn as much as you can. Let me give you an example. In my earlier years I set up my practice 24 and 44 now. So that was, you know, a while, a good while ago. I did voluntary work alongside that I worked with in a center for six months with children, or sorry, adults with autism and Down syndrome. My client would never be someone with autism or down syndrome. Well, unlikely based on the, the, you know, the market and the clientele I was dealing with. But I figured that I learned about autism in psych, in university. But you get very shallow understanding of it. So I wanted to be able to understand worlds that weren't mine. So that if anyone came in to me and said, Look, I'm really struggling. My child has autism. I don't know what to do. And I could say to them, Look, yes, they can go and get an expert in that particular area, who can be smart. However, immediate things, you know, offer them some routine, keep the sensations down, you know, various different things that they don't feel like they've been, that they've been such an inadequate parent because they don't know how to deal with it. That's the only reason I did that. It's simply to step outside your own comfort zone. I worked with people in a secure unit. Again, there were teenagers between the ages of 12 and 18. The reason I did that, they weren't going to be my client base because they were they were high risk kids. They were very, I'd say, like, mouthy. They'd give me a little bit of aggression every now and again. And I just learned They're just people there that are struggling and they have no method or healthy method of venting and they will try and vent on you. But if you give them a space where they don't feel that you're, you know, you're going to be social worker or a police person or whatever, and you give them a space to actually be a normal person, not someone in the services, you will see a huge difference. They weren't my client base, but it gave me a few tools that I could use that in the event I meet somebody who is some reference for that, I won't be able to say, I have no clue what you're talking about. I'll never be able to say to any human being on the planet, I understand exactly where you're coming from. Because nobody does.

Louise McDonnell:

Okay, so the steps then, if somebody wants to improve their mindset, so number one is to stop comparing themselves, and social media plays a huge part in people feeling maybe bad about themselves because they look at these false lives of other, other people portray on social media. So stop comparing yourself to other people. Think step two then would be. Think of the holistic approach. So it's, you know, it's, it's could be down to what you're eating or down to, you know, you know, what you're consuming on social media or on TV or whatever. And step three, then what you were saying would be to broaden your horizons, to step outside your own immediate comfort zone. and so they sound like brilliant pieces of advice. What, what else would somebody then do wanting to change their mindset?

Donna Kennedy:

I would say, first of all, to, it's kind of a double edged thing on the first point, but to be authentic, and that means finding out what matters to you. So that means looking at your values. Your values are the things that are most important to you. You know, if you look at words like honesty, freedom, integrity, independence, they're all things that would be important to most people. I mean you can list 30 words there. they're important to most people, but you normally find that two or three are crucial to people. And if you are in situations, a job, A friendship, a relationship that it doesn't match your values will always have conflict and you don't know why. So looking at your values and living according to your values is like super important. For example, if one of my values is family and I'm working in a job that allows me zero time with my family, I will always have internal conflict. Always, but if I can create a way where I can work in such a way that includes my family, I'd be a lot happier now for someone else, they may not have a value family and there's nothing wrong with that. So they'll get on perfectly fine working, you know, away from family. So it's not a judgmental thing. It's just, you have to find out what it is that you value most and then, you know, work out what way you can do it. I mean, before I had my son, I was very you know, career orientated and everything. Then when I have my son, I still have my goals. But I knew I was going to have to achieve them differently. I wanted to pick my son up from, as he grew a little bit, from creche but I wanted to be with him when he was tiny. And then obviously from, you know, he finished school at half two. So I know, okay, if I've got to achieve my goals, I've got to achieve them before half two.

Louise McDonnell:

Yeah.

Donna Kennedy:

Which sounds impossible, but it's amazing what you do when you've got focus time.

Louise McDonnell:

Oh, it's amazing.

Donna Kennedy:

It's the afternoon for him, but you've got to have the focus time. And this comes back to where you were saying, you know, about playing charging clients. You learn quickly who values your time. Like, you don't have time for silly cups of coffee for no reason. Do you know? If there's a good reason, I'm not on about social cups of coffee. You say, for silly, will you meet me for coffee? I want to pick your brains. Well, no, thanks very much. I have to get my stuff done if I have to. So I can spend time with, you know, live my values. So I would always ask people, what's the purpose of, if we're meeting for coffee, what's the purpose? so you get very clear about what you're doing. But living according to your values is so important. And also, I would also say getting your needs met. very much. It's very important and self care and we all have human needs. And if you were to look at anybody who has any issue at all, I have, I do a needs wheel and I can guarantee that their needs are imbalanced one way or another. And it's, it's a very easy way of identifying what those are. And as soon as you get to work on getting their needs met, everything else, it has a knock on effect. You know, and it affects everything. Something as simple as, for example, you fix someone's nutrition, they can sleep better, they can focus more, et cetera, et cetera. You know, if you fix somebody has a problem with sleep, they sleep better, they can have more time with friends to go to the work, whatever. So you have to look at all the different aspects, but getting your needs met and self care is so important.

Louise McDonnell:

Yeah, it is. Absolutely. And so like, you've obviously seen some, some really interesting transformations then with people that you've worked with. Can you give us a few examples?

Donna Kennedy:

I was speaking at an event once in Limerick and this lady came up to me and she'd written a book the week before and an article came out about her in, I think it was a Sunday Word or Sunday something anyway. And she came up to me and she said, my sister saw you speak before and she said she dragged, she dragged me here. I thought, okay. You know, okay, that's fair enough. Where is this going? And she said I wouldn't get out of my bed, and she said, but you've got me out of my bed. Oh. And since she's gone on, she's done amazing things, you know it's amazing when somebody says they saved their life. That's, that's amazing, you know, or they said they were going to give up, and they didn't. For me, that's, that's incredible. And knowing that you were a little part of it. You didn't do it, but you were a little part of it. Maybe they followed your guidance or they listened to something that you said or whatever. you know, I couldn't say specific stories on that. I would have dealt with in the earlier years. I would have dealt with a lot of what I call eggshell cases. So there would be a lot of them would be psychiatric cases. And that wasn't my intention initially. And when I set up my practice I basically helped somebody who'd been on medication for 25 years. Their doctor happened to be a senior doctor in a Dublin hospital. And he said, what did you do different? And he told them about me. And then I was like, I was just their go to person. So I got a lot of people who would have tried to commit suicide. And from that then, that kind of filtered out to other doctors in the area. They would send people to me. So it ranged then from, say, eggshell cases that, you know, that could nearly break to people who were go getters and they maybe just wanted to advance in their career, which I would consider, you know, nearly the easier stuff. You know, for me, it's, it's the easier stuff. The rewarding, I suppose, it's on both sides. It just depends. I mean, if you can see, you can make a difference. I remember actually was actually on the Late Late Show years ago. And I remember a girl on the show and she was talking about having anorexia. And my mom said to me, you know, she, she said, reach out if you need, you know, there's a lot of people say that or whatever. So my mother reached out to her and she said, she'd been cured after two years. You can't be cured after two years of something like that. It leads like longevity. You can be cured in two years, but you need the needs, the longevity to be able to help anyone else. So her, I rang her. the first thing she said to me was, do you know what we'll do? Come up to Dublin to me. We'll have a party. We'll go out and we'll drink loads of wine. And have a great time, which she thought was being nice, which was being nice. Under normal circumstances, that would be fine. But if she really knew the insides and outs, she would have thought, there's loads of calories there in this girl and the other end of the phone is panicked. Which may sound ridiculous to anybody else who isn't there, but I would never in a million years say that to somebody who I knew was struggling with the disorder, because I understand it. Yeah. So it may seem like a strange thing to, but when you have an insight into certain things, it's just that little difference that can make a massive impact. So I would never, ever, ever say that to somebody, and I know the things to say and not to say. And that just comes from experience. It comes from, you know, being inexperienced and then having time experience as well. You know, you know, and what to say and what not to say.

Louise McDonnell:

Yeah, I can imagine. So you see, you kind of alluded to it a few minutes ago, but what advice would you give your younger self?

Donna Kennedy:

And I'll tell you what I would say to my younger self. I'd say if something is bothering you, tell someone that can help you because you can't manage it on your own. And there's there's no there's no shame in not being able to manage something on their own. To be honest with you, adults, there's always a time in every single person's life That they just feel too overwhelmed and they can't manage it on their own, you know, whether that be a child or whether it's a 93 year old. It's just to say, do you know what, actually, hang on here, I need, I need something to save me. And that's okay. You know, I mean, it's very, you mentioned social media and social media is fantastic too, if used for the right reasons. Well, you do, you do fantastic work. As you know, there's an issue with social media because, you know, you have people out there giving a version of reality. And then you have the other extreme version of reality that everything is miserable and they go down the whole, you know, throw anxiety route. So it's very, it's an either or. But let's just get back to basics. Like the reality is, everyone needs help sometimes, but be okay to say, you know, I'm not, I'm not actually doing okay, but I really need, need you to step in. So if at seven, I could have maybe been open to, if my mother asked me what was wrong, I would have been open maybe to telling her, not worried that the world was going to fall apart. You know, and that, that's an easy thing for me to say now. And I understand that when people are in that situation, they do worry about the consequences of opening up. And that may be sometimes, you know, you, you reach out to a professional or you reach out to somebody there before or something like that. But there's always somebody there. And if it means you're reaching out to someone you don't know, what's the worst that can happen? Yeah. They say, I can't help you, but you're no worse off. And then keep reaching out until you find somebody that says, actually, yes, I can help you.

Louise McDonnell:

Yeah. Yeah. I started doing it even, I know it's a totally different, it just in relation to, to work, but I sort of have started doing a lot more work with people in the U S and I, I find that they are absolutely more open to getting help. Like they're absolutely, you know, not saying that we don't get help this, this side of the Atlantic too, but you know, everybody will have, you know, a coach, everybody will be investing in themselves. You know, it's, it's like more the norm, whereas I think, here, certainly in Ireland, I think UK are very similar to us as well. Like, you know, we maybe try and do things a lot more things ourselves without reaching out for help. So I kind of say to everyone now, it's like, you know, be prepared to invest in yourself as well. And I do the same for myself. So, you know, yes, I, I, I offer coaching programs, but I also join them, you know, because, you know, you're always growing. You're probably the same, Donna, you, you offer things, but you also get involved and, and, and go to other events as well. And we're always, we're always learning and developing from there. So yeah, that's brilliant. So thank you for that. That's the advice to your younger self. So how can people find you? Tell us about your books and how can people find you?

Donna Kennedy:

Yeah, we're bringing out a new book actually in July. It's a collaboration. Yes, we're bringing out a new book. My books are, my first book was actually on property because I was investing in property and I felt that a lot of people that were writing books were full of jargon. So I wanted to simplify things, which I like to do. And then I found just my, the market that I went into you know, when I was working with people, you know, the lack of confidence resonated with me from where I was. I started to write guidance books on that and confidence books for men and women and in general, and teaching people how to get themselves back so they can actually live fully. And some of those are collaborations. Some are, are solely my own, but I've led them all in any case. And it's just important. This was, the books really are a conversation with the reader. And that they won't get to have in person. But by all means, if anyone wants to reach out in person, they can. It's, my email is info at donna kennedy dot com. So just reach out there. And I always will reply. And check your junk mail if you don't get a reply. Because there will be a reply.

Louise McDonnell:

So the new book coming out in July, what's it called and where can people find it?

Donna Kennedy:

It's called Decision I actually have one here, and just because I was doing something before this, there's one I made earlier. It's called Decision, and it's the gateway to unlimited potential. It's a collaboration of 14 authors all of whom have had incredible stories learning different to my own and we can all learn something from somebody, but 14 people in the book, everything from, I mean, there's, there's motivational stories, inspirational stories, practical advice, It's men and women of all ages. So it's, it's a great it's a powerful book and it covers the fact that, you know, you need to make decisions in order to go forward. It's not just about thinking about things. And if you really want a result, you will have to make a decision. And sometimes it's not one decision. It could be a multitude of decisions, but you have to go forward. You have to make those decisions and you have to take action. And if you're afraid, well, so be it too, but you'll see that in the book, it explains, you know, from 14 different perspectives of how you can manage and navigate that. Fantastic. It's a fantastic book, if I do say so myself.

Louise McDonnell:

You are completely or totally allowed to say that? Where can people find the book and when is it going to be released?

Donna Kennedy:

The book will be on Amazon. It's released on the 24th, which is today. And yeah, they can go on there. They buy five copies. There's also a load of bonuses that they can get. So just contact me about that. You know, some of the authors are giving away workshops. I have an automated program that I'm giving away in Confidence, Drive Your Life to Succeed. There's e books there. There's loads of different bonuses. And it's all, all the pre order profits go to the Christina Noble Foundation. Oh, that's fantastic. It's a children's charity to help children, give the children their children or their childhood back. That's her, her phrase.

Louise McDonnell:

Well, congratulations on the new book and congratulations for the launch which is today, the day that this is, this podcast is coming out. So for those of you who might be listening back in a few weeks time, that's the 24th of July. So if you want to get those bonuses, buy five copies all the money's going to charity. What a wonderful initiative. So buy the books. There's a five of them and get the bonuses. You're going to love it. You can have the books, you can give them away for Christmas presents or give them away as you know, to your, to your clients. But congratulations Donna. So thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story and sharing all your advice. Best of luck with the book launch. I have no doubt it'll be another bestseller. They always are. And I look forward to seeing you soon again.

Donna Kennedy:

Likewise. Thanks so much.